Okay, I needed that after this year. It’s been a rare thing where I can truly be ecstatic about a game week and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Points: 71
League position: 3rd
Bellend of the week: Alexis Sanchez (+ Leroy Sane + Marcus Rashford)

The Good

The North London Derby between Spurs and Arsenal usually means goals for both sides. It wasn’t the case this weekend though as Ben Davies was part of a sturdy Spurs defence that brought back a clean sheet. 6 points. He was also very dangerous from an attacking point of view as well and was part of every Spurs attack in the first half, which is why I’m slightly surprised he wasn’t anywhere near the bonus points… Still.

Marcos Alonso was away at Everton and brought back a solid 6 points. This was another clean sheet that I didn’t expect when looking at the fixtures but one I’ll happily take.

Maya Yoshida also brought a clean sheet as Southampton drew 0-0 against Hull! 6 points. It could have been more for him as he was brought down for a penalty but …

Eldin Jakupovic was in the way! The Hull goalkeeper dived down low to his left and produced a worldie to save from Dusan Tadic’s penalty. A save that earned him 5 extra points on its own and also pushed him up to take maximum bonus points! 14 points he returned! Wow.

That makes me 4 clean sheets from 4 defenders (GK + 3 defenders) and a return of 32 points in total! Which is incredible.

Dele Alli bagged himself a goal against Arsenal and an extra point for keeping a clean sheet! 8 points. It could have been more as he managed to head wide from 1 yard out…

Eden Hazard continued his fine form of late with an assist against Everton. Hampered slightly because he picked up a yellow card but still a solid 5 points.

Harry Kane, the captain of the week, brought back a modest 10 points after scoring against Arsenal. Could have had an assist and also another chance to score a penalty but it wasn’t to be. Annoyingly he picked up a yellow card towards the end of the match which meant he lost the 3 bonus points he was on to pick up (6 with him being captain). 

And finally we have this weeks transfers, Josh King. Yes, I’m very late to the party, but I honestly expected this form to run out of steam eventually. It just didn’t… So I brought him in as Bournemouth were away to Sunderland and what happened? HE ONLY WENT AND SCORED! Get in there. 11 points he returned! What a debut.

The Bad

Manolo Gabbiadini … for fuck sake. How are Southampton not closer to the dropzone? They’re so very very average. And again, he was subbed on the 59th minute… 1 minute away before he got 2 points for completing 60 minutes. That’s the 2nd fixture in the last 3 that he hasn’t completed 60 minutes. The only time has played longer he returned with an assist! Perhaps he should be left to stay on the pitch longer and with the subs directed at the midfield of Southampton?

Bellend of the week

Easy one this week, Alexis Sanchez. What an absolute cunt he’s making himself look. Going down like he’d be shot at Palace, the social media bullshit and now essentially cheating in the North London Derby… ffs. Basically, the ball clearly hits his arm, which should have meant another penalty for Spurs but it wasn’t given. The ref awarded a corner and the incident was over. Not for Sanchez, who decided to protest his innocence (Even though the ref was already on his side) by trying to convince everyone it his chest. Just stop it you knobhead. This was all on top of a pretty average performance. Congratulations, Alexis Sanchez, you are this weeks Bellend of the Week (again).

Still, the Letdowns made massive progress this week and I’m now 17 and 25 points ahead of 4th and 5th place. 3 game weeks to do though, not a time to get complacent.

A quite note on the fucking disgraceful cheating cunts Leroy Sane and Marcos Rashford. I wish very awful things on both of you. Both players cost Middlesbrough and Swansea very well deserved wins that may ultimately get each of them relegated, Middlesbrough more so. Fuck you Leroy Sane you absolute disgraceful  dickhead.