For everyone else in the league…

This week was possibly the worst so far in the season. Everything worked in favour of teams around me in the league.

Vardy scored, Ibrahimovich scored in the 94th minute… Yoshida scored, Jack Stephens got an assist, my team was littered with yellow cards… it was shit.

Points: 42
League position: 3rd
Bellend of the week: FPL Gods

The Good

Stephan Ward got a clean sheet as Burnley beat Stoke 1-0. 5 solid points. Why only 5 though? because he got a yellow card… one of a few in my team. Sergio Aguero got a goal as City lost 2-1 to Chelsea. And Dele Alli eventually got a goal and an assist against Swansea as Spurs won 3-1.

That’s it. No details this week as I can’t be arsed.

The Bad

Eldin Jakupovic, where the fuck is the Hull defence that got clean sheets against Man United and Liverpool!? He let in 2 goals as Hull beat Middlesbough 4-2. FPL says he made 2 saves which is dogshit as well as I watched the game and he made more than that. One example is when he made a good save to stop Middlesbrough equalising at 3-2 but because he pushed the ball up onto the crossbar, it counted as hitting the woodwork rather than a save… this might seem like nit picking but it’s just an example of how everything went against the Letdown’s this week. 1 point.

Ben Davies… brought in to the team this week as part of a solid Spurs defence. They were away at Swansea who are not much of an attacking threat without Llorente. So what happens? Swansea score pretty early on in the match and nothing else came of it for Davies. Waste of time. 2 points.

Marcos Alonso again offered nothing and returned with nothing. To be fair he was up against Man City this week but how he didn’t have more attacking threat when he was up against Jesus Navas at right back I’ll never know. 2 points.

Tom Davies… though to be fair to him, he wasn’t meant to be playing but he was my first sub this week and was drafted into the team. He had glimpses of attacking threat against United but also picked up a needless yellow card. 1 point.

Gylfi Sigurdsson. When Swansea score, he’s involved. So naturally, in a week when I needed points badly, Swansea score and Sigurdsson had nothing to do with it. Brilliant. 2 points.

Manuel Lanzini… I was quietly confident I would get points from his this week as West Ham were up against Arsenal. With Andy Carroll in the West Ham team, Lanzini would be providing the service to him. What happened? He had one decent shot, provided nothing else, and picked up a yellow card… the 3rd yellow card in the team this week. 1 point.

Romelu Lukaku, still missing after the Merseyside Derby. His family are concerned and would ask anyone who has any information at all to contact their local police station. 2 points.

Alexis Sanchez, the captain this week, was fucking AWFUL. How the fuck do Arsenal score 3 goals and he not be involved in any of them? He was dreadful. Rated the lowest of all the Arsenal players, I’m concerned his head has gone and he can’t be fucked playing for this gash team anymore. 6 points.

And finally, Ryan Bertrand. Like Fernando Llorente in GW30, he was absolutely fine leading up to the match. All the team news suggested things were fine, no concerns at all, he would be playing. The team was announced and no Bertrand. WHAT!? For the second week in a row, I had a mysterious injury to one of my players… like seriously, fucking come on here! what’s going on!? It’s pretty bad luck to have one player suddenly injured without any warning, but to happen twice in two weeks!? For fuck sake.

Bellend of the Week

I could pick Ryan Bertrand, I could pick Manuel Lanzini, I could pick Ben Davies but fuck it. This weeks Bellend of the Week is the Fantasy Football Gods. Fuck you. The amount of dog shit luck that the Letdown’s have had this year so far is a joke.

I’m done with this season. I just want it to end. 2017 has been dog shit for me personally, for Middlesbrough FC and for the Letdowns. I can’t get a break at the minute no matter what and I’m seriously disillusioned. I don’t even give a fuck that 3rd place in the league is the last money position, I’m getting sick of having absolutely zero luck. Even GW30, where I finally had a week where I got more points than 1st place, was me clutching at straws to find positives as it was another week of luck going against me and working in favour for the majority of other teams. It’s nothing to do with logic or that the Letdown’s has bad players, it’s the luck that you need in FPL is not going in my favour.

Just to emphasise what went against me this week, I’m going to list them:

  1. Tom Davies picks up a yellow card
  2. Stephen Ward picks up a yellow card
  3. Jamie Vardy scores in the 78th minute (4th and 5th have him as Captain)
  4. Ibrahimovic scores a 94th minute penalty (1st and 2nd have him as Captain)
  5. Ryan Bertrand is left out of the Southampton team for no reason
  6. Maya Yoshida scores in the 83rd minuted assisted by Jack Stephens (4th place has both defenders)
  7. Manuel Lanzini picks up a yellow card
  8. Swansea score with their only shot on target against Spurs
  9. Eldin Jakupovic concedes 2 goals against the leagues worst attack
  10. Harry Maguire scores Hull’s 4th goal (5th place has him) which was assisted by Andrew Robertson (4th place has him)
  11. Josh King scores in the 87th minute (1st, 2nd and 4th have him)
  12. Alexis Sanchez has the worst game of his Arsenal career and isn’t involved in any of their 3 goals

3 goals in the last 10 minutes. Another in the last 12 minutes. 3 yellow cards. Another mystery no show from a player. 3 defenders involved in goals for teams around me in the league. And the only Captain choice to not score points. Excellent.

Thanks for nothing Fantasy Football. I can’t wait for GW32…