That’s it. Game over.

I said I was scared for this week in my GW26 Preview and I had every right to be. It looked like another week where the Letdowns would score okay and then Harry Kane turned up. You remember him? The player that banged in all the goals, was drafted into the Letdowns to ultimately do FUCK ALL, to be transferred out, to then scoring 7 goals in 6 league games. If it wasn’t for Gareth McAuley, I would wish very harmful things on you, Harry Kane. Very harmful things.

On that note, let’s crack on with this shit show of a performance.

Points: 52 (Predicted: 34 )
League: 3rd
Bellend of the Week: Leopard’s Letdowns

The Good

Seamus Coleman, Dele Alli, Gylfi Siggurdson and Romelu Lukaku.


The Bad

*Disclosure: The rest of the blog is just going to be a rant about the rest of the team.

The rest of the fucking team. I’m not even kidding either. The rest. Remember in my preview when I said that “I have zero faith that Hull will be able to keep a clean sheet as that’s just my luck with these kind of things”? I’m like Mystic Meg because did they fuck keep a clean sheet. Eldin Jukapovic after being on my bench for the 4 weeks where Hull came up against Chelsea,Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal and Jakupovic returned 23 points!!!! He could only return 2 points against Burnley. FUCK OFF. Oh and to top it off, Ben Foster, the keeper I was selecting over Jakupovic because of the fixtures? He returned 3 points… a point more.

Marcos Alonso did fuck all either this week with Chelsea beating Swansea 3-1. Brilliant.

All hope of a clean sheet for Winston Reid was destroyed in 3 minutes as West Ham conceded a penalty virtually straight after kick off in their 1-1 draw against Watford. He did pick up a bonus point though… :thumbs up with a sarcastic smiley face 3 points.

Middlesbrough were fucking useless as they were down 0-1 at Palace with Fabio also picking up a yellow card in the process to return 1 point.

James Morrison, after I bigged him up in the preview, after he returned 25 points over the last 4 game weeks did FUCK ALL and even got subbed at 72 minutes as West Brom beat Bournemouth 2-1. 2 points.

Tom Davies did fuck all but I wasn’t expecting too much. He did bring back a clean sheet point before he got subbed off… 3 points.

Jermaine Defoe hit the crossbar against Everton to ultimately return another fucking dogshit 2 points. Where is the Defoe that is so clinical he just needs one chance to score a goal? It was only two game weeks ago that he put Palace to the sword! What the fuck have you done David Moyes? You utter dick head.

Bellend of the Week

The Leopard’s Letdowns. The entire fucking team, including the players that brought back some points. They ultimately didn’t bring back enough points to compensate for the utter shambles that the rest would bring back.


I fucking hate you Gareth McAuley. I don’t think there is a better way to sum up the luck that you need to win Fantasy Football, than taking a look at the goal he scored against Bournemouth this week. Not forgetting the ghost goal he scored a few weeks before that when he was given a clear Jonny Evans goal. Honestly, the ball fell to precisely him, with 8 other players within a metre of the ball (Yes, I’ve counted)? Fuck off. What have we all done to deserve that amount of dogshit bad luck?

After the shit show on Saturday, I was praying that Sunday would be better but no. Fuck FPL. Fuck life. I’ve had enough. Alli did do something… he got the 4th goal in the Harry Kane show. Kane scoring a hat trick and just to rub it in further, even got the assist for the 4th goal.

It would take a miracle to retain my trophy this season. It’s a shame because the next couple of weeks could be interesting with teams having double games and virtually no teams playing in GW28 but I’ve lost hope and lost my enthusiasm. I’m in a strange place where I don’t quite want to give up on catching 1st place (They’re 94 points ahead…) and definitely don’t just want write this season off and fight for 2nd place, who the fuck plays Fantasy Football for 2nd place!? But that’s what this week has left. This is the hand I’ve been dealt. This is what I asked for as I was sick of having a glimmer of hope.

Game over.