Antonio Conte storms out of a Costa as he is given a full fat latte instead of the skinny latte he ordered – queue media frenzy about how appalled Costa coffee are at this disrespect by Conte that they consider moving their entire business to China. Bloody hell, Conte, why did you have to piss off Costa!? Not only will this affect all of the coffee lovers in the UK but more importantly, and more to the point of this blog, fantasy football managers around the world!

I was very optimistic about this week and coming back into form, but that news has rocked my team. Though, I’m still hopeful it’s complete bullshit. If a player misses even one session of training the media are on it, yet Costa was allowed to miss three days of training without anybody realising and then apparently had an argument with the fitness coach and Conte? Hmm.. My outlook since hearing this news has dramatically changed as a sense of reality has hit home and now everything that could possibly go wrong in fantasy football will go wrong and I will lose more points on the leader and probably question my existence.

Moving on. I’ve had to adjust my team from a 3-4-3 formation to the classic 4-4-2:

Defence

I’ve had to stick with Artor Boruc this week as Jordan Pickford remains sidelined. Bournemouth find themselves away at Hull so there is potential for a clean sheet. The back four consist of Marcos Alonso (obviously) who is away at Leicester and with the news about Costa, Conte might be keen for his wing backs to help even more towards the attacking threat. Next we have Ben Mee at home against Southampton so there is definite potential, but knowing my luck, he’ll score a goal and follow it up with 5 own goals and get sent off. Winston Reid remains ever present in my defence and being at home to Sam Allardyce’s Crystal Palace, I am very hopeful of a clean sheet. And finally is the man to replace CostaMr Erik Pieters of Stoke. He’s away at Sunderland so I’m not 100% confident of a clean sheet, given that Stoke haven’t been great recently and Sunderland still have Defoe, but he’s playing as a wing back at the moment and could potentially pop up with an assist.

All players are up against teams of similar level so there is potential for clean sheets but no doubt both teams will score in all the matches and leave me with hardly any points. Prediction: 14 points

Midfield

My midfield has changed quite a bit over the last few weeks with Adam Lallana coming in for Glyfi Sigurdsson (the worst transfer of the season so far) and considering he couldn’t do anything against a terrible Sunderland team, I’m not expecting him to do anything away at Manchester United. I also have Robert Snodgrass coming in for Eden Hazard as Hull find themselves at home to Bournemouth. See, swapping Hazard for Snodgrass was based purely on the fact that I had adequate Chelsea cover in attack with Alonso and Costa…  so thank you very much Conte for screwing that logic up. Completing the midfield is Christian Eriksen, who is at home to high flying West Brom and Alexis Sanchez away at Swansea which looks like a potential points fest, key words there ‘looks like’.

I don’t have much faith in Lallana to get any points in his match and I’m not solely convinced that Spurs will be able to get much out of their match against West Brom so I’m looking at Snodgrass and Sanchez to bring the points home with a couple of goals. Prediction: 18 points

Strikers

Imagine this, Costa – Giroud – Ibrahimovich. All 3 in incredible form for their clubs and leading the Leopard’s Letdowns for this week. Fuck you Conte. Instead, we are left with just Giroud, who is away at Swansea, and Ibrahimovich who is at home to Liverpool. With Giroud there is absolutely potential for points against an awful Swansea team. Ibrahimovich on the other hand could find himself shut out this week. Although he’s been incredible goal scoring form, he’s actually been pretty shit in terms of performances (I don’t know how he won player of the month) and so could either be found out in this match or he could up his game for, arguably, the biggest match of any season for both clubs.

I was SO excited. I hadn’t been this excited all season. Fuck fantasy football. Prediction9 points.

Fuck Costa. Fuck Conte. Fuck fantasy football. Fuck China.

Leopard’s Letdowns.