Ohhhhhhhhh do I have to play this week? I’m having to resort to 3-5-2 this week with only one ‘main’ striker. I’ll happily take the average points this week as I’m struggling to see any positives.

The Defence

In goal, we have the spectacular choice between Jordan Pickford away at Man United or Artor Boruc away at Chelsea. After last weeks disastrous choice, I’m going against my own rules (explained later) and I’m opting for Jordan Pickford. There is no way he will keep a clean sheet, Man United are in good form at the moment, so I’m looking for save points here. I was very tempted to select Boruc, but Bournemouth are yet to keep a clean sheet away from home and even without their main striker, Chelsea will surely score.

Next up, we have Ben Mee, who welcomes a Middlesbrough side who will be hoping to continue their recent solid form. Boro find it difficult to score goals away from home and they’ll be loathe to get beat to a relegation rival, where as Burnley will look to continue they’re very solid home form. It has 0-0 or a home victory to nil written all over it.

We have the ever present Marcos Alonso next so I’m naturally expecting some clean sheet points in his home game against Bournemouth, but I’m looking for more on the attacking side. He shoots and finds himself in some good positions often enough, so that should equal more assists and goals.

The weak link in the defence this week is Winston Reid, who is away at Swansea so I’m not expecting anything from him at all.  In fact I would love him to perform poorly as long as it meant another player in the Letdowns scoring the goals…

There is a conflict in my defence this week, which I hate but I have no alternative with Costa suspended and using my one transfer elsewhere. Prediction: 15 points

The Midfield

The one player I want to step up is Glyfi Sigurdsson. If he scores a hat trick, Winston Reid in my defence loses points, but I don’t care. I need as many points as possible. Come on the Glyf!

Christian Eriksen retains his place in the team after an abject performance against Hull, and this week I’m not expecting much as Spurs are away at Southampton. This season, other than Van Dijk, I don’t rate Southampton at all, but at the same time, I’m never confident that Spurs are going to score never mind get a victory. If Spurs have any title hopes they need to win these games but I’m doubtful.

Eden Hazard has to step up in his home match against Bournemouth. After a golden period of FPL points between GW8 and GW11, he has one goal to his name since. For a player who every pundit says is in such good form, where is the return? He seems to be the ‘pass before the assist’ which is not great for FPL. If there is no return again this week then he’ll have to be considered for transfer list.

We have Alexis Sanchez at home against West Brom, which could go either way. It’s either a goal fest for Arsenal (Likely a hat trick for Theo Walcott the way things are going) or it’ll be a shit 0-0 or 1-0, nobody knows which Arsenal will turn up but hopefully Sanchez is involved in anything that does happen.

And finally, I’m having to bring on board Glenn Whelan. I know… I know. I feel disgusted as well. He’s a classic bench warmer that should only ever play when a player, who is selected in the starting 11, isn’t played for whatever reason but I’m out of options. The alternative, is Erik Pieters, a defender, away at Liverpool… So no doubt he’ll concede a few goals and will return less than 2 points. Glenn Whelan at least will hopefully return the expected 2.

I don’t expect anything from WhelanHazard hasn’t returned FPL points in a few weeks, Eriksen is hit and miss and Sanchez will be facing 11 men everytime he looks to shootSigurdsson is the only player in my midfield that I can see scoring a decent haul of points this week. Prediction: 20 points.

The Strikers

Fuck my life I hate this week. Another bench warmer is in the team this week as Victor Anichebe starts for the Letdowns. He’s away at Man United so he’ll be defending more than anything, so I don’t expect anything at all. Another player to add the list this week that I can’t see returning points.

And finally, is my newly transferred in player, Zlatan Ibrahimovic. After another blank for Harry Kane last week, I quickly fucked him off and brought in the big Swede. Watch this be something I regret as Kane scores a hat trick and Ibra struggles to break down a packed Sunderland defence. Still, Ibrahimovic is in very good form at the moment and is the main scorer for United. It conflicts with my goal keeper choice for the week, which is disappointing, but I had little choice this week with Costa being suspended, as I needed to bring in a more in form striker.

I don’t expect anything for Anichebe and Sunderland will defend incredibly deep and make it tough for Zlatan to score. Prediction: 8 points

Captaincy

There are two stand outs choices this week, Glyfi Sigurdsson and Zlatan Ibrahimovich. Everyone who brings in Zlatan who select him as Captain, which makes me incredibly tempted to select Sigurdsson, but I just can’t risk it this week. It’s all about damage limitation as the fixtures make a number of my players conflict.

I’m scared this week. I’m truly scared. Why does this week have to arrive when I’ll have a huge amount of food and drink around me? I could have a serious case of depression if I lose too many points and my only fix will be beer and as many turkey, brie and cranberry sandwiches as I can eat! FPL is why people gain so much weight over Christmas. FPL is the devil!

Merry Christmas.

Leopard’s Letdowns.