Points: 41 (Predicted 57…)
League: 4th
Bellend of the week: Harry Kane

It had to happen eventually. After 2 weeks of high scores, there was bound to be a week where things just didn’t happen for the Letdowns. This was certainly that week.

The Good

Marcos Alonso does it again. Chelsea winning 1-0 at Crystal Palace added yet another clean sheet to Alonso CV and it could have been so much more as he was inches away from scoring a free kick. An expected return of 6 points.

My one transfer this week saw me swap out Lovren for Winston Reid. A risky move given West Hams troubles this season, but with their fixtures and Reid’s price, there was logic behind it. And oh how I was repaid, West Ham keeping a clean sheet against Hull mainly thanks to an excellent display by the goal frame. He also came back with full bonus points, a lovely 9 points.

Alexis Sanchez did okay and returned with an assist, which was handy as it was Theo Walcott scoring the goal. It’s the next 6 fixtures where I’m hoping Sanchez comes into his own with West Brom (H), Crystal Palace (H), Bournemouth (A), Swansea (A), Burnley (H) and Watford (H). Though this week he was up against Man City so an assist was very welcome, 5 points.

Back in The Good is Diego Costa. In a tight game against Crystal Palace, it was left to Costa to head home the only goal of the game in a 1-0 victory for Chelsea. The only downside is that he picked up the elusive 5th yellow card so is banned for next week. There is no way I’ll be transferring him out though as he’s 0.9 million more expensive now so I’ll have to deal with him on my bench for one week. For this week however, he continued his fine form with a solid 6 points.

The Bad

Where the fuck do I start. Can I just say the rest ? Because I’m seething at how badly some of them performed. I guess not so let’s begin this lengthy section…

Artor Boruc. The decision that cost me the most points this week was who to play in goal. Where I watched as Jordan Pickford claimed a clean sheet and bonus points in the Sunderland vs Watford match, Boruc earned nothing more than a meagre 2 points as he let in 3 goals as Bournemouth, who had lost only 1 match at home so far, lost 3-1 to Southampton, a team that had only won 1 away game so far this season.

Eden Hazard in good form away at Crystal Palace? A team that like to attack so much that they forget they have to defend? Sounds perfect for a pacey skillful goal scoring midfielder. Well, the match didn’t live up to it’s billing and Hazard returned just 3 points. He didn’t even pick up any bonus points… With Costa and Alonso as my Chelsea cover, I’m very tempted to transfer Hazard and spread the funds around my team. We’ll wait and see.

Erik Pieters, 45 minutes into his match, a clean sheet seemed inevitable. Stoke were flying 2-0 and Leicester were down to 10 men as they lost their best goal scorer. Stoke would remain solid and shut the game down in the second half, right? By 90 minutes the match was 2-2. Good bye clean sheet, good bye 1 point for conceding 2 goals, oh and to top it off, good bye your solitary point as you picked up a yellow card. Brilliant. 0 points. You were very very close to your first bellend of the week award but you got lucky.

With Swansea’s away form being as it is, shite, I was still hopeful that Glyfi Sigurdsson would return something against a Middlesbrough side that would attack. He was behind everything good for Swansea in the match, but was often surrounded by opposition players and left without support, returning just 2 points. Up next there are two attractive home games so I’m expecting points. I have a plan for the turn of the new year but that plan will go up in flames if Sigurdsson can muster up some points.

Victor Anichebe, the cheap 3rd striker that he is, isn’t expected to score week in week out, but since he’s been brought into the Letdowns, he’s done bugger all. Come on. A goal or an assist every few matches is all I ask. 2 points.

And now onto the main course. Both of my Spurs players, Christian Eriksen and Harry Kane. Tottenham beat Burnley 3-1, but their main creative outlet and their main goal scorer were nowhere to be seen. After last weeks stormer, I opted for Eriksen for this weeks captain choice which seemed a huge risk when everybody else in the league opted for Harry Kane. Come the end of the match and we’re all left feeling slightly cheated and let down by them both. Eriksen returned 4 points but Harry Kane, for the second week in a row, returned 2 points.

Bellend of the week

This one was easy, Harry Kane, you are this weeks Bellend of the Week. Congratulations on your completely pathetic performance against the leagues worst away side. How the fuck can a striker, deemed by some as “world class” and “one of Europe’s best strikers”, not get a goal against Hull or Burnley? Are you kidding me? Against Hull, he had 1 shot off target. Against Burnley, he bettered that incredible stat and had 2 shots… 1 off target 1 on target. Excellent.

I thought the fixtures this week seemed good, there would be clean sheet and goals galore for the Letdowns but I’ll admit, I was wrong. Next week, in my opinion is terrible for fixtures, so naturally, it’ll be a goal fest and clean sheets galore. Hopefully the Letdown’s don’t eat too much Christmas turkey and are instead inspired by the traditional Queens Speech to perform on their lovely well cut grassy field.

Here’s to Gameweek 18 and to anyone who reads this shite, merry Christmas.