Well that was incredibly average. Ready to read an average review on an average game week? Good.
Leave it to West Brom, Chelsea and Sunderland to save my game week with no thanks what so ever to Burnley (#reallifefootballjoy), Arsenal, Man City , Liverpool, Everton or Stoke.
I’ll begin with the positives – 60% of The Defence and Diego Costa
Up against Hull this week, I finally took a punt on Sunderland being able to keep a clean sheet so selected Jordan Pickford as my numero uno and it proved to be the correct decision as he kept the incredible Hull strikeforce of Robert Snodgrass, Rob Snodgrass and Bob Snodgrass at bay to return 6 valuable points.
I was once ridiculed for having big Jonny Evans of West Brom in my team after I used my wildcard but his value shone through this week as he returned a solid 6 points after the visit of Burnley.
My new recruit, Marcos Alonso, famously of Bolton and Sunderland, is riding on the wave of “I’m now a talented footballer”. After being sacked off by a couple of shit English teams, he decided to take up the option of attending the University of Finding Your Inner Talent in Fiorentina and what a decision that turned out to be. In true style, he immediately showed the rest of the Leopard’s Letdowns how it’s done and returned a solid 6 points away at Middlesbrough (#reallifefootballsadness).
The gift that just keeps on giving. Mr Diego Costa. There was one goal in against Middlesbrough, and obviously it was going to be Costa who scored it, oh and he also brough home a extra 3 bonus points for a game week total of 9 points. The highest of the week, Mr Diego Costa is this weeks SAVIOUR OF THE WEEK.
The negatives… – Everywhere else in the team
After injuries took their toll on the Letdowns following the international break, there were a number of transfers that I was hopeful of returning some much need points.
Let’s begin with the worst performing member of the team this week – Ben Mee. As much as I fucking hate Burnley in real life, my fantasy football team depended on them this week. All I wanted was a nice 0-0 against West Brom. With Tom Heaton in the form of his life and up against a team that is absolutely shite at scoring goals, I was hopeful, especially giving I had a West Brom defender in my team as well (See above in positives). So please, can somebody tell me why Burnley decided to make West Brom look like free flowing Barcalona? 4-0 was the final score… 4-0. Fuck off Burnley. I have the returning Adam Smith lined up to take his place in the starting 11 next week but I’ll leave it a couple of days for my emotions to let loose and I can think logically and rationally… fuck you 0 points Ben Mee, the BELLEND OF THE WEEK award goes to you. I hope you choke on it.
Erik Pieters rounds off the defense with 2 points. Now, I was hopefully of more. Bournemouth are dog shit away from home, they’re awful, but they have a talented team and should cause most teams a problem so I’m not too down about this, though ultimately I made a -2 loss as this was one of my 3 transfers this week (my 2nd and 3rd transfers costing 4 points each).
Where the really disappointing part of my week comes is Midfield. Everton vs Swansea, Man United vs Arsenal, Southampton vs Liverpool, Middlesbrough vs Chelsea. Those were the fixtures across all of my midfield. Bolasie against Swansea, easy points for Everton right? No. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Everton were shit and needed a very late header from Seamus Coleman to get a point. I’m keeping my eye on you Bolasie! 2 points is not enough against terrible teams.
Next, we had Southampton vs Firmino. A usually tough team to beat Southampton haven’t really done much at all this season so I was hopeful that Liverpool would be able to carve them open and score a few. But it ended 0-0. Naturally. Firmino, who scored a shite 3 points, was found in the referees locker room complaining that he saw Fraser Forster moving the goal posts, which is why he missed an absolute sitter.
Man United vs Sanchez was naturally going to be tasty. After returning from injury and scoring a brace for Chile, Sanchez was 100% going to continue on this form and smash a shite Man United team that had Phil Jones as one of their centrebacks. Nope. Nope. Nope. 1-1 the match finished, Man United dominated a terrible Arsenal that decided to leave all their pace and strength on the bench (Chamberlain, Iwobi and Xhaka) and instead play Ramsey and Elneny. Well done Arsene. What a brilliant time to swap out some of your key players so far this season. Oh and Sanchez returned just the 1 point as he picked up his 2nd yellow card in 3 games, signs of frustration after a 3rd draw in 4 games?
Now, the next game was the most confusing match I’ve watched so far this season. Middlesbrough vs Chelsea. As a Boro fan, I wanted a win. I was supporting every attack. I felt my bumhole tighten every time Chelsea attacked. It was horrendous. As quite a pessimistic / realist Boro fan, I wasn’t expecting anything from this game so ultimately the fantasy football side of my brain took charge. When Chelsea scored my first thoughts were “please let that be a Costa goal with a Hazard assist”. It was a Costa goal… but Hazard was nowhere to be seen. He provided most of the attacking threat, naturally, for Chelsea, but disappointingly didn’t do much more than a couple of nice turns to get past players. He did however return 4 points after an extra bonus point and a clean sheet.
And finally, and possibly the most disappointing points return of the week, was the second part of the strike force, Sergio Aguero. Chosen as Captain as Man City have been rampant away from home this season and up against a Palace team that has found their true form, it was a no brainer… OH wait, yes it was, cause he was shite. He did nothing. He scored 4 points and for the captain of the team that’s not good enough. Yaya Toure scored both City goals. Yes, Yaya Toure was thrown straight into the mix (Gundagan should be pretty fucking pissed off given his performances of late) and scored a brace after some absolutely shocking Palace defending. Now, Sergio costs a lot of fantasy millions and some have questioned whether he is worth it. To those managers, I say get rid… get rid if you truly have given up on winning your respective leagues. In the matches were Aguero has played 80 minutes + (there are 9) he has scored 8 goals. That’s almost a goal a game. That he HUGE in fantasy football for a striker to be almost guaranteed a goal. Add to that that he’s Man Citys main man. Who is going to replace him? Harry Kane? the main man of a team that is struggling to score goals? If it wasn’t for West Ham deciding to do Spurs a favour and gift them 2 goals Harry Kane would not have scored anything. No, Sergio is the man and though he is this weeks DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE WEEK, I will still be relying on him next week.
Next week should provide some good footballing action. We have Burnley vs Man City, so you can expect Burnley to sit 11 players and 1000 supporters in front of their goal whilst Man City have target practice. Hull vs West Brom, another dogshit game where i’m hoping it’s 0-0. Liverpool vs Sunderland, so Firmino should run riot and score 10 goals. Watford vs Stoke, potential for another shit 0-0 (Fingers crossed!). Arsenal vs Bournemouth, Sanchez will hopefully pick up a goal or two here and I might even have to hope for an Adam Smith assist depending on who I choose in defence. Southampton vs Everton, so if Bolasie can’t do anything against Swansea, can I expect him to do anything against a Southampton team that just kept out the Premier League’s rampant rabbit that is Liverpool? Hmm. And finally, Chelsea vs Spurs. Spurs usually pick themselves up for derby matches so they’ll naturally score to ruin any chance of an Alonso clean sheet so I’m looking for goals here. Hazard, Alonso and Costa need to return at least 15 points between or the Letdowns will be facing another disappointing week.